Disclaimer:
This list doesn’t include the negotiating, stomping, whining, crying, cussing, crazed thoughts, questioning God and all of this in the first 15 minutes of a mom attempting potty training.
10. Previous experience is null and void. Little Billy won’t be like his siblings Suzy and Bobby.
9. “You know he/she will be potty-trained someday. You know of any college students in diapers?” = not helpful
8. “Preschool is in ___ number of months. Have you thought about trying?” Really????
7. How is potty training a child like taking a dog on a walk? As many times as a dog stops to smell or pee on fire hydrants, your child will want to visit that many public restrooms. (and you will be grossed out)
6. Pull Ups are a joke. They hold very little and some have “cool alert” feature that is traumatizing for boys.
5. Rewarding potty training is really children training parents to jump through hoops, clap and act like fools for a little potty.
4. Some day it will save you time and money. Not until after it costs you double the time and money.
3. I would like a treat for every time I ask, “Are you dry?” or “Do you need to go?”
2. Shopping lists start including pound size M&M’s bags, juice boxes and stickers for tedious charts.
1. That once you start you will be under house arrest for 5 days shadowing a child that you are deluging with drinks and setting timers to “just try”.
Deep truth: The realization that in the middle of a crowded room, all those people were once potty trained and their parents survived… and I will too.
My Potty Training Resume Experience
Ian, now 9: was potty trained at 22 months at his demanding. I spent the whole week crying in the bathroom while reading hundreds of books and making deals with the devil to stop potty training.
Kaylee, almost 7: was potty trained at 22 months to be like her big brother and she was highly verbal and extremely competitive. It worked but it was exhausting and I would have been happy to keep giving Pampers my money.
Rhett, almost 3: he could care less and he screams when he is ever near a potty chair or toilet. He hates all things about diapers and being dirty, but isn’t convinced that he should be out of them. He will probably be trained when it is his idea or by August 15th, so he can go to preschool!!! Pretty sure that forcing him to train will provide enough material for his first two years of therapy as an adult.
The saga continues…
Next step is propaganda… potty training DVDs and books have been put on hold at the library.
Yes this too shall pass… but not without a fight.
Shameless Leap of Faith — please LIKE, Comment or Share… or all three!!! 🙂 Everyone should have a good laugh at my attempt at potty training. I would love the support. I am going to need it during this process.
boldlyblessed 
Thanks for the laughs! My 2nd is 2 1/2 and I am dreading starting! Right now he just wants to put the padded toilet rings around his neck and run around the house or continue to take the “cup” out of the little toilet and store cars inside. GROSS!