Oh me, oh my! I have only been 36 for 2 weeks and I am loving every minute of it. It is freeing and liberating in a new way. I’ve been sillier than I have been in years. Spreading joy instead of worrying about what others think or if I am doing right by everyone else and seeming serious enough. It has been GrEaT!!!
Living this way takes me back to my teen years when my parents deemed me one of the perkiest people they knew. I led a double life back then. I was perky and down right silly at home and rarely shut up. But I was nearly mute at school. I was always worried that I didn’t say the right thing or that I was going to get singled out to be teased. So I was frozen at school. Looking back I can see I was robbing myself and others from having a full experience with me.
My life could have been so different if I had had the confidence to be me. Ahh the teen age years… Times of hormones, stress, rules, freedom of driving, parental difiance and boys! I am glad we only have to go through the teen years once. That decade is long enough. I was thrilled when I turned 20 and to be out of those tumultous teen years. And I know I didn’t relax until I had Ian. Then I was “allowed” to be his personal comedian, tickle monster, yard chaser and illusionist making his food disappear as I fed him. Motherhood helped me to let my silly creep out around short people (i.e. children… mine or others). But adults were taboo. I would still think of what others would say to me or about me. So I kept my silly in check.
Last night I threw all caution to the wind and I broke out my gnarly “hill billy” fake teeth and wore them off and on for an hour at church around the kids and people I had dinner with. We laughed so hard and hooted and hollered. And it felt G~O~O~D!
So good that I am going to start being my goofy self even more. No need to not be light and merry with the love and blessings I have in my life. I am happy and I know it and my face will surely show it! (Especially if you see my new teeth… I will post a picture a dear friend took when she emails it to me)