Monthly Archives: April 2012

Top 10 Truths of Potty Training (READ if you need a good laugh & SHARE if you can relate)

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Disclaimer:

This list doesn’t include the negotiating, stomping, whining, crying, cussing, crazed thoughts, questioning God and all of this in the first 15 minutes of a mom attempting potty training.

10.  Previous experience is null and void.  Little Billy won’t be like his siblings Suzy and Bobby.

9. “You know he/she will be potty-trained someday.  You know of any college students in diapers?” = not helpful

8.  “Preschool is in ___ number of months.  Have you thought about trying?”  Really????

7.  How is potty training a child like taking a dog on a walk?  As many times as a dog stops to smell or pee on fire hydrants, your  child will want to visit that many public restrooms.  (and you will be grossed out)

6.  Pull Ups are a joke.  They hold very little and some have “cool alert” feature that is traumatizing for boys.

5.  Rewarding potty training is really children training parents to jump through hoops, clap and act like fools for a little potty.

4.   Some day it will save you time and money.  Not until after it costs you double the time and money.

3.   I would like a treat for every time I ask, “Are you dry?” or “Do you need to go?”

2.   Shopping lists start including pound size M&M’s bags, juice boxes and stickers for tedious charts.

1.   That once you start you will be under house arrest for 5 days shadowing a child that you are deluging with drinks and setting timers to “just try”.

Deep truth: The realization that in the middle of a crowded room, all those people were once potty trained and their parents survived… and I will too.

My Potty Training Resume Experience

Ian, now 9:  was potty trained at 22 months at his demanding.  I spent the whole week crying in the bathroom while reading hundreds of books and making deals with the devil to stop potty training.

Kaylee, almost 7:  was potty trained at 22 months to be like her big brother and she was highly verbal and extremely competitive. It worked but it was exhausting and I would have been happy to keep giving Pampers my money.

Rhett, almost 3:  he could care less and he screams when he is ever near a potty chair or toilet.  He hates all things about diapers and being dirty, but isn’t convinced that he should be out of them.  He will probably be trained when it is his idea or by August 15th, so he can go to preschool!!!  Pretty sure that forcing him to train will provide enough material for his first two years of therapy as an adult.

The saga continues…

Next step is propaganda…  potty training DVDs and books have been put on hold at the library.

Yes this too shall pass… but not without a fight.

Shameless Leap of Faith —  please LIKE, Comment or Share… or all three!!! 🙂  Everyone should have a good laugh at my attempt at potty training.  I would love the support.  I am going to need it during this process.

Someone’s chasing me…

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Well, not really.  But that is what I think now as I near the end of my 1st week of the Couch 2 5K program.  (3 times a week on the program and I am walking for 15 minutes on the off days to be habitual)

I have teased for years (really decades) that I only run if I am chased.  I have never been a natural athlete or someone who just can’t wait to get exercising.  No matter my attempts in junior and senior high school I still hated it.  I only had rock hard abs at that time and was a size 4 because of how horrible I was at getting serves over the net during drills or running laps for all the baskets I missed.  Poor performance was consistent for me and in my young mind I felt “punished”.  So I started to look at exercising in a warped way.

Now embarking on my 36th year, I can’t deny the importance of exercising any longer.  Especially with the three little mirrors reflecting back to me that I am a hypocrite about exercising to be healthy and be here for as long as God plans.  (which I hope will be my 100th year – – I have a lot left to do and lots of love to share)

So what made this happen… my two oldest love running.  They got this sickness from their cross-country running daddy.  So they wanted to learn how to run on the treadmill on Sunday and at 9 and almost 7 I let them.  I was there to monitor the time and pace.  I let them both run for 10 minutes each.  THEY RAN THE ENTIRE TIME!  Now Kaylee wants to run 2 times a day … sick I tell you.  I am supporting this lifestyle choice.

Wait… I got ahead of myself in my story.  So they got done on Sunday and I was helping them stretch.  They had 220 questions (because no child has only 20) about running including, “Mom, when were you last on the treadmill?”  I replied once in September.  Then they pounced on me and said I need to run as much as them.  YIKES.  So I actually started that next day.  So, I am on day 4 of being chased by someone as I run on that treadmill in my basement.

My “app” calls the voice Allison, but I have renamed her Helga.  She is a former old school Soviet Union trainer with a thick accent and mustache.  Makes me laugh just thinking about all the crazy stuff that goes on between my ears.

Praying I can keep up running and getting to a place where I like it.  I have a plan and I just need to keep prioritizing my to do’s to stick with it.  I do like the alone time it creates.  That might keep me going.

I can do this!!!!!!!  Ian, Kaylee, Rhett and Helga won’t let me stop!!!

Hope you keep moving or get moving soon too!

Silliness = Happiness

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Oh me, oh my!  I have only been 36 for 2 weeks and I am loving every minute of it.  It is freeing and liberating in a new way.  I’ve been sillier than I have been in years.  Spreading joy instead of worrying about what others think or if I am doing right by everyone else and seeming serious enough.  It has been GrEaT!!!

Living this way takes me back to my teen years when my parents deemed me one of the perkiest people they knew.  I led a double life back then.  I was perky and down right silly at home and rarely shut up.  But I was nearly mute at school.  I was always worried that I didn’t say the right thing or that I was going to get singled out to be teased.  So I was frozen at school.  Looking back I can see I was robbing myself and others from having a full experience with me.

My life could have been so different if I had had the confidence to be me.  Ahh the teen age years… Times of hormones, stress, rules, freedom of driving, parental difiance and boys!  I am glad we only have to go through the teen years once.  That decade is long enough.  I was thrilled when I turned 20 and to be out of those tumultous teen years.  And I know I didn’t relax until I had Ian.  Then I was “allowed” to be his personal comedian, tickle monster, yard chaser and illusionist making his food disappear as I fed him.  Motherhood helped me to let my silly creep out around short people (i.e. children… mine or others).  But adults were taboo.  I would still think of what others would say to me or about me.  So I kept my silly in check.

Last night I threw all caution to the wind and I broke out my gnarly “hill billy” fake teeth and wore them off and on for an hour at church around the kids and people I had dinner with.  We laughed so hard and hooted and hollered.  And it felt G~O~O~D!

So good that I am going to start being my goofy self even more.  No need to not be light and merry with the love and blessings I have in my life.  I am happy and I know it and my face will surely show it!  (Especially if you see my new teeth… I will post a picture a dear friend took when she emails it to me)

Warnings…

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Here are few we see in our daily lives:

– Surgeon General’s Warning

– Caution hot liquids (at McD’s and Starbucks on your coffee)

– Caution slippery surface

– Contents may explode under pressure.

I have never smoked because my mother did an excellent anti-smoking campaign for me growing up.  I rarely chose to order a hot beverage anywhere and if I do I always ask for room for ice.  And I walk like a little old lady on slick surfaces because I think it helps with traction.

My favorite is contents may explode under pressure.  This is so true of my life and my reaction to it.  Some days there is no fire lit under me and I still proceed just fine.  But the days I have added pressure of a conflict, deadline, or having to be 3 different types of mom to 3 different types and ages of children I am close to my maximum pressure point.  I am primed and ready to explode.

This happened multiple times over the past two weeks while my 6-year-old daughter struggled after her routine tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy.  She was down and way out in pain, exhaustion, hunger and overall unpleasantness with the worst breath ever.  She could usually be found on the couch with our oversized heating pad wrapped around her head and a sports water bottle with ice near.  My 9-year-old son was my right hand man.  Until day 4 that is.  Then he was done with all of us and especially his almost 3-year-old brother that adores him.  And my wound up, silly 3-year-old would be loud and crazy the whole day.   He would slowly approach his sister and say, “Sissy? Boo-boo? Owwwwww!!!”  Then turn on his heel to make noise, destroy the living room or karate chop his big brother.

It was like chasing my tail, hitting my head against the wall and being in a dead-end all at the same time.  So much chaos and so many different needs.  Not to mention my own.  Being sleep deprived and crazed I did my best not to lose it.  Friends were so sweet to bring us meals, bring items to distract the kids and grab necessary items.  (yes we ran out of toilet paper and milk)  And my parents were a huge help on a couple of different days to help Kaylee and I rest.

But on day 7, I lost it.  “It” was all my contents that were under pressure.  As I sat trying to fold 6 loads of washed laundry that had become a towering mountain, I started thinking crazy thoughts.  You know the ones that sleep deprivation bring on.  They can include, but are not limited to: “I am the worst homemaker, mother, nurse, cook, planner, etc.” – – “I am never going to get us all back on track.” – –  “My kids are going to remember this always as the worst spring break ever.” – – “How do I keep folding and sorting laundry when I just want to fall over and sleep on it?” – – “It is never going to get easier.” – – etc., etc., etc.

Hello Crazy!  My contents were so under pressure that my sweet husband popped into check on me and even asked how much longer I needed on my own since I was losing it.  Now my contents were turning me into a hot mess and ugly crying.  Exhaustion is just the pits.  All my negative self-talk and emotions were not how I feel about myself or my family on a normal day, but when the reality is heavy and the outlook is more of the same… you have every right to lose your marbles when your contents explode.

You have to have a team ready to help you recalibrate your settings for how much pressure you can take.  I did and with some much-needed sleep I am back to my usual crazy level of pressure on a day when all 3 of our blessings are at school.  These days help erase the rawness of those two weeks and I actually can’t wait to see all 3 later this afternoon.  Well, until they break into a crazy fight over who can talk about their day first… or who was the fastest runner from the bus stop… or who is smarter or funnier than the other… (I can go on… but for your benefit I will stop)

So be mindful of your contents and how much pressure you can stand before you explode.