From time to time I go the dark, low, ugly place of worry, anxiety, and stress. Thankfully, I don’t live with it all the time but it does seep in. It reminds me of the dementors from Harry Potter. It just seeps in and takes over.
Worry, anxiety and stress are a response of my brain when I start “what if-ing”. Do you suffer from spinning “what if’s”? It is awful and spiraling at times.
You may not, but here is what can happen in less than a minute in my head.
Using the previous post this week on bullying: GO
> what if it was too soon to talk to the teacher?
> what if it was too late to talk to the teacher?
> what if the teacher thinks we could have handled it differently?
> what if the “talk”she mediates between the two boys is awful?
> what if the things were bad before and now they will be worse?
> what if the other boys gets mad and gets others to be mad at my son?
> what if this changes my son?
> what if I advise him incorrectly?
Ok, see and that was just a minute. What if I typed faster? (yikes that was a true wonder not worry question) And now since I have listed those what if’s they are even harder to silence. So why share them on here and with you?? Well we all have these plaguing what if’s. You can’t deny it.
I probably what if off and on all the time, but when I change-up the order of worry, anxiety, and stress, I see the word saw. Saw? Yep, saw! This word makes me think of God. Not following? Let me explain. God saw what has happened, he will see what will happen and he has already saw the outcome of it. Nothing I can guess will change the outcome. I need to see Him in the situation.
See “saw” can be a helpful word. What a great little word to help get rid of the “ifs”. I know that God has a plan even during this issue at school and that it won’t be the last. I am not going to turn a blind’s eye to the issue but I am going to pray and put trust in God that he will provide me with the right words and encouragement for my son.
This week I have had a stalker. Not in a scary way. (that is a story for another day) No, Psalm 139 won’t leave me alone and I know it is no coincidence. It was in my Sunday School class lesson, part of two devotionals I have read this week, an article from an old magazine I found, I heard part of it on the radio, it is part of Veggitales and today it was the additional reading to my Jesus Calling reading.
I hear you God. I get it!!!! (well I am trying to get it)
I love all of Psalm 139, so I am glad it has weaved its way through my week. But to help me get past my human nature of what if’s I would like to share the last two verses. Maybe they will help you too.
23 -Search me, O God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24-See if there is any offensive ways in me and lead me in the way of everlasting.
Try to break your what if-ing. It may just make you go crazy if we don’t. I know I don’t what if on positive events. Only the unknown and perceived negative ones. I need to trust more.
Prayers for both you and I as we get past the what ifs!!
All of Psalm 139 if you are interested: