2nd post today just to catch up on the school issue Ian has been dealing with…
I spoke to his teacher yesterday after school and she was glad I emailed her. Then as we talked I shared with her that we feel perserverance is a learned behavior and we don’t want to shelter our children completely from heartache, troubles or conflict. But when that is being pushed into a child being full of dread and anxiety about going to school then we need to help them more.
His teacher was so kind and thankful for the ways we have tried to coach Ian and I thanked her for listening. She said she would talk to both boys seperately the next day (today) and then shake things out. I asked her if she wouldn’t mind considering talking with the boys together to help mediate the problem. I told her that the confrontation will be hard but talking seperately might create more backlash to my son.
She said she would contact me by email on Friday after talking to the boys. Here is what she wrote me…
Just wanted to send a quick email…
The boys and I discussed what was happening. I said that I had overheard the two of them talking and knew what was going on. During our talk at the back table, another boy overheard (waiting to ask me a question) and said he had the same problem as Ian. I think it helped Ian feel better talking about it. The three of them talked with my help, and I feel the issue is resolved. Please let me know if it isn’t! Thanks!
Here was my response:
Oh thank you so much! I think that was a great way to frame it! I am hopeful that it will be over soon. I am also glad that this could help the other classmate. Have a great weekend!
Then when my son got home we talked one on one about it. (which is a huge feat in a house with 3 loud kids :)) But it was a great time to focus in and hear what happened from his viewpoint. He said he was relieved and so glad that he could talk it out with the teacher. And he said that the other boy valued his friendship over the conflict and he would stop how he was treating Ian. Ian was beaming. And he said he was glad he could help someone else out.
We have had issues in the past and we will have issues again. But this is definitely a big step forward for Ian learning when to ask for help, how to resolve conflict, and get to resolution. So proud of him and so blessed to have a great teacher.
Thanks for reading.