Wish I would have known…

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I am experiencing something new.  I am gathering a following.  I have readers.  I have people who I don’t know emailing me and commenting.  And I can’t believe it.  This made me stop in my tracks yesterday when I went out on a whim and posted my blog on Crock Pot Girls Facebook page.  Why did it stop me?  Oh don’t get me wrong I loved the quick exposure!  But I guess it is that feeling we all have that toilet paper might be stuck to our shoe (or worse) as we enter a meeting or engage with new people.

I thought WOW who am I to get this attention.  What will I do if I tick someone off?  Should I change my approach?  Should I continue?  Should I just sit on a tack? (that is for my mom’s benefit… thanks for that wise bit of wisdom my whole life :)) These few questions don’t even cover my wave of insecurity that I was being drowned by all last evening.  I even went to bed at 9pm and was in shock!  I needed time to process and to really forget about the blog for a while.

I used to be a very nervous person about saying the wrong thing, about not wearing the right clothes and I was pretty limiting to myself.  Not to others.  I really didn’t put much stock in what other people really thought.  I was predicting and assuming what they thought of me.  It was quite a hobby in my high school years.  Probably why I didn’t enjoy those years much.  When I got to college, I knew I had to shake this habit.  It was hard.

But the more I was “me”, I was more comfortable and others were too.  Then now as a women’s ministry leader I rarely worry too much of what I say, how it is received, or what I present myself as.  I am “me”.  I tell women often if something strikes you wrong or you don’t like something, just let me know.  I am not able to fix everything but I am happy to hear the good, the bad and the ugly.   The younger version of myself was not this open.  I was worried that I would criticized, laughed at, or have the high school shun happen.  (I don’t miss that girl)  Most the time our assumptions and perceptions aren’t even close to what is happening.

The reality of reality has been muddled up with reality tv shows.  By boldly being me I am hopefully encouraging other people to strive to be more of themselves.  The real part of reality is YOU being REAL!  We all have stuff.  We put on this face of “everything is good”.  Well that is bull.  Part of the human condition is being a real human.  That is why it isn’t the Robot Condition.

I pray for people to be more understanding and accepting of themselves so that they can do the same easily for someone else.  I live and influence by grace and faith alone.

Here is a quote I found today which sparked this crazy post…

Always be yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and one’s who mind don’t matter.

Wouldn’t that be a different reality if we all let ourselves be ourselves and also those around us?  What a ripple effect that would make.  I can see the ripples now expanding to infinity. (and beyond… I know you are saying that in your best Buzz Lightyear voice)

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About Kristin

I started this blog thing years ago in August 2011. I have made attempts to blog over the past three years of seminary, but it was like writing when drowning. But I have completed the bulk of my course work, so I know there is a God. I am currently in my capstone creation phase this fall. This allows me time to unravel a little and renew my passion for writing my ramblings. If you like what you read, share what it stirs in you or even share it with others. I write for you from me. A little about me... I have celebrated 16 years of wedded bliss and reality with my best friend for over 17 years. We have 3 wonderful kids that are all unique, amazing and different in their own way. Our first born is nearly a teenager. He loves talking, Scouts, reading, camping and science experiments. Our daughter is a decade old. She is our creative soul and a planner! She loves to spend time dancing, singing and nurturing/teaching her babydolls and us. She is very sweet to her brothers. Last but not least is our daring 6 year old red head boy. He broke the "Wooldridge Mold". He is the fastest runner, our busiest explorer, our deep philosopher and biggest joker, oh and he gives the best hugs. You know the long lingering kind that truly fuel your soul to sing. I have been a stay at home mom for nearly 13 years and I have found a groove that works for our family. (That grove doesn't mean I have it figured out. It just means I am good with asking for help and having my family help us survive.) Twelve years ago, I joined a local MOPS group and I have been the Coordinator for 1o years. This group has given me a chance to lead without working full time, support other women in my community and help refine my walk with God. I also attend Central Baptist Theological Seminary. I am pursuing a Masters of Divinity and loving every minute of it. I am currently working on my capstone project, which a ministry guide for the MOPS group I have lead for a decade. It will serve as a touchpoint for those in leadership and also as a sweet offering as my goodbye to meaningful work that touched every part of my life and taught me that I am called to pastor. My life isn't perfect as the paragraph above makes it seem. But I have traveled through those harder times and found strength and support through them. Hoping to use this blog as a spot to write my thoughts, feelings and stories as I keep on living life! God Bless you and keep you. We each need to remember the Divine is within each of us. Be kind to yourself and to others.

3 responses »

  1. I know Eminem sounds like the LAST person that you’d think a good applicable quote would come from but here it is…”‎You have enemies? Good, that means you stood up for something.” – Eminem

    I also like many of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quotes, but I think this one applies the best my dear friend, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.”
    — Eleanor Roosevelt

    But your Dr. Seuss one is good too. 😉

    • Oh Mel how I love you! Love these quotes. I hadn’t even googled mine… it was on my favorite website for odd/different gifts… http://www.uncommongoods.com.
      Thanks for reading my blog. Hope it makes you feel like you in Liberty with me for 10 minutes a day when our kids are napping and we are chatting on the phone! Miss ya!

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